What I learnt at a retreat surrounded by strangers and former first responders

Earlier this year, I spent a three-day wellness retreat with mostly retired and discharged female first responders and officers; what I learned there has been more challenging to put into words than I imagined.

As someone who is not a first responder, I was incredibly lucky to be included by friend and group facilitator Denby Eardly from Just You Yoga at the weekend at Sage Manor Bowral.

I should note that, like everyone else, I paid full price for my place in the retreat.

The weekend included sound healing, regular yoga, journalling, smudge stick making, and more to help us all connect.

Not only did I redefine myself and how I viewed the world, but I was also shown firsthand the incredible resilience women can muster and the impact sharing heartache can hold.

Seeing these women, many of whom suffered complex forms of PTSD, courageously take control of their lives, connect with each other and redefine decades of trauma within a few days was beyond inspiring.

I discovered that women are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, yet we struggle to ask for what we need or even know what that could be.

With families to look after and life to get on with, many of the women forced down their emotions to 'get the job done' and, when feeling alone, would isolate themselves further so as not to be a burden to those around them.

I learnt that the past could drag someone down for decades of their life, but still, the human spirit can persevere in holding hope.

The most common theme among the group was they all experienced a deep emotional trauma yet upheld the strength to carry on, despite what one attendee said felt like an unbearable self-loathing that she reached a breaking point to begin with.

One woman lived with agoraphobia for years, which she developed while working in an investigations unit, looking into child protection cases and closely investigating convicted pedophiles in her local area.

She developed a phobia of the outside world and, with kids of her own, was deeply afraid to leave the house for weeks at a time.

Despite having one of the group's most outgoing and vibrant personalities, she hid from the world.

Her experiences deeply affected her quality of life as so many people close to her misunderstood them, she lost a big part of her personal community, which left her further isolated.

Another attendee spent most of her career in law enforcement said being a police officer felt synonymous with who she was.

She felt her entire identity stripped away when she was medically discharged after being shot on duty while responding to a domestic violence call out.

With shrapnel still lodged in her chest to this day, she continues her journey to physical and medical rehabilitation.

After hearing these stories and spending so many hours with the group, I watched women who could barely muster a sentence to everyone on day one come out of their shells by the second morning.

One joked she got more out of a day and a half with strangers who shared her pain than she did out of five years of psychology work.

Many of them experienced what Mrs Eardly from Just You Yoga called a "sister wound," distrust and pain toward other women that stunted their ability to connect and heal, adding an additional element to the weekend.

Getting to know these women, understanding their stories, and seeing how they hold grief and trauma yet still support strangers was a surprise that turned me inward and gave me more clarity on what really mattered in life.

Women who have been first responders as police, nurses, paramedics, or worked in high-level investigations and child protection services.

Many experienced workplace harassment, were assaulted or were victims of unthinkable violence, yet they still held the strength to try and overcome things most people couldn't imagine.

They were forced to find themselves again after being forcibly retired, often through no fault of their own on medical grounds.

Despite this past, they held hope for recovery and knew what they needed to let go of.

What started as an apprehensive weekend spent with strangers ended with tears around a firepit and a life-long connection

The event was sponsored and supported by Police Bank, Queen of Quarts, Emerge & See, Police Credit Union, and You & Yoga.