This is a sample of The Echidna newsletter sent out each weekday morning. To sign up for FREE, go to theechidna.com.au
Create a free account to read this article
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
I'm getting remarried next month - to my first wife.
Congratulations are in order but that's not why I'm mentioning it. I'm just surprised by how many people tell me that they know of others who have done the same. It's not as uncommon as you might think.
There are people (men, I imagine) who go off the rails in mid-life but who realise later in life how stupid they were. They fell in lust with someone and realised too late that, in the long run, love trumps lust.
These fools are fortunate enough to have had partners who didn't let their justified anger colour the rest of their lives. Both parties learn. People regret their mistakes. Difficulties are resolved. Love may resurface.
The reaction to my announcement has usually been one of two. One is of bafflement: a wronged party would rather share the rest of (usually) her life with a bunch of brown snakes than the snake who betrayed her.
Or people say: "I can understand that. I know someone who has done the same".
And this latter group is not that small.
There are only figures for how often it happens in the United States. An article in Psychology Today said: "According to the research, between 10-15 per cent of couples reconcile after they separate. However, only about 6 per cent of couples marry each other again after they divorce. Of those who remarry each other, about 30 per cent go on to divorce each other a second time."
So six per cent - about one in 17 - of divorced couples remarry each other.
Aside from the stupidity of fools whose brains sink to a lower part of their body, circumstances are often the factors which drive couples who love each other apart, particularly financial circumstances.
![For some couples, love can come at second sight. Picture Shutterstock For some couples, love can come at second sight. Picture Shutterstock](/images/transform/v1/crop/frm/231012065/940a126d-52c4-4f8d-90cf-20b00ce183d4.jpg/r0_0_4599_2592_w1200_h678_fmax.jpg)
Sometimes, partners are driven apart by one spouse's behaviour, caused perhaps by addictions and a mental situation. The arrival of children can upset the dynamic of a relationship.
In all these cases, love can just about endure, perhaps deep down but still there, waiting to resurface when circumstances and behaviour changes.
Or so I like to think.
My advice is: don't be stupid in middle age - no fool like an old fool. Realise and relish what you've got - as the Joni Mitchell song said, "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?" If a marriage or a partnership is basically good, make it work. See beyond the choppy water immediately ahead.
But not every man-child will be lucky enough to have a grown-up partner to welcome them back.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Would you take your ex back? Does love conquer all? No defamation of individuals, please. Email your response to echidna@theechidna.com.au.
SHARE THE LOVE: If you enjoy The Echidna, forward it to a friend so they can sign up, too.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- The US President Joe Biden is not being treated for Parkinson's disease, the White House said, after the New York Times reported visitor logs showed a doctor specialising in the illness visited the White House at least eight times from August through March.
- Jobs in the Australian Public Service could be made more fun through the expansion of artificial intelligence, Assistant Minister for Competition Andrew Leigh said. "There's lots of uses of ethical AI that can take away some of the drudge work and make roles more interesting," Mr Leigh told The Canberra Times.
- Farmer Wants a Wife favourites Andrew Coleman and Claire Saunders have called off their wedding in a shock announcement. The Narromine-based couple, who left the popular reality show early after declaring their love, have been engaged since March 2024.
THEY SAID IT: "Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love never fails." - the Bible (1 Corinthians 13:7).
YOU SAID IT: I wondered whether we could enjoy art created by thoroughly horrible people, or at least by people who did thoroughly horrible things.
You thought we could.
"Great art stands alone, apart from its creator. Rather decry the people who made Gauguin famous and made a motza in the process," Susan said.
Pam extended the thought to cricket: "Bradman apparently did not like the Irish Catholics, and there are still murky surroundings on his involvement in a stockbroking incident in Adelaide. But 99.94 says everything!"
Philip said: "Do we stop using the philosophy and mathematics of the ancient Greeks because they all owned slaves? Do we knock down the Coliseum and the pyramids because they were built by slaves and a showground for their slaughter? Viewing the past with hindsight and current ethical views will always be fraught with peril."
David said: "My approval of Harvey Weinstein may have gone from Harvey Who to bastard due to his treatment of women, but I still like some of the films he was involved in. And my approval of Neil Young may have increased after his public 2020 letter to Donald Trump but most of his music still grates."